hillionaire

little spoon

2009-09-29T12:21:21Z

the most romantic thing i've heard in a very long time:

"i want you to be my little spoon."

please fetch me my smelling salts because i'm about to swoon.

i really am just tryinhg to figure this out.

2008-07-29T19:32:32Z

this video has been all over the news here and i wonder if it's made national yet. but, as people-on-bikes-in-cities, i wanted you all to know about this.

i'm still kind of torn about how i feel. i am angry at that cop. but i also have reason to believe that the cyclist did something wrong (or more wrong than "stopping traffic") because why wouldn't his buddy there have helped him out? i don't know, man, there is just something not right about this whole thing. you can read the gothamist story here which has a few good details. you can read the gawker story here. so anyway, draw your own conclusions. but wear a helmet please and be safe and all that crap.

hlkp @ 2008-07-24T11:39:00

2008-07-24T15:40:17Z

friends-only, dudes.

ohhh, spring!

2008-05-31T17:45:29Z

so, i just rode my bike from bushwick to my house. it's kind of far in that you have to go west before going south- there's no easy diagonal. anyway, at about south williamsburg, it started to rain. then it started to POUR. but i kept chugging! i skidded out once, but kept on. i feel really good about getting back on my bike. it's really helping my mental map as well. it also just takes so much less time. plus, who wants to spend an hour and a half on a train on their saturday? not me! anyway, i returned home absolutely soaked, but it was worth it. sometimes i have to do stuff just to prove to myself that i can do it. that's all.

woot, my 15 minutes.

2008-05-30T20:50:40Z

if you've never read it, jezebel is this awesome women's blog. they asked, and i delivered. i'm the thumbnail, people. the THUMBNAIL.

additionally, my boss just came over and said that she wouldn't be surprised if my upper boss asked me to stay on. she said she's being giving me really positive feedback and that he (upper boss) has been really impressed. she said she thought that they would keep me on as an assistant and that possibly even a bit of a higher position. this is the first time she has mentioned something along these lines and i'm really glad to hear it. also, upper boss said he was impressed by the initiative i was taking to be trained on this new program. yes! my plans are working! so, if you could all please send all of the full-time-employment vibes over to 2 penn plaza, that would be great. positive thinking! my boss is out again monday, so i'll have yet another chance to prove myself. oh, and, when we had our weekly meeting, the editor i work with said that the week i had been in charge went "perfectly" and then upper boss said that i did a really great job and then i blushed. but i've really been working my ass off. i'm glad that they have noticed.

that is all.

wait no

2008-05-30T03:34:45Z

Originally uploaded by heartinacircle

THIS is what i want. and i shall receive.

and this.

2008-05-30T03:30:12Z

druknfish
Originally uploaded by heartinacircle

thanks.

plskthnxbai

2008-05-30T03:29:47Z

plskthnxbai
Originally uploaded by heartinacircle

for my birthday i want this:

oh holy fucking shit oh my god

2008-05-29T17:18:11Z

this arrived in my inbox:

[ORDER SUMMARY]
JOHN WATERS' "THIS FILTHY WORLD", Thu 26 Jun 2008 09:00PM ET
1 Filthy VIP,
Venue: The Concert Hall at The New York Society for Ethical Culture
Box Office/Check-in: opens 60 min. in advance
Delivery: @Will-Call
Assignment: G.A.

this includes a meet-and-greet with the man himself.

yes, lord, i do deserve this.

maybe you don't want to eat and read this because it's about acne

2008-05-28T17:59:56Z

i get pimples, you see. but, sometimes, these pimples turn into, like, open sores. i really don't understand it. they become scabs on my face. unhidable scabs. not that i try to hide zits or anything, but, when this happens, it becomes REALLY unhidable.

i feel like at age 22, i should no longer be getting zits like this. i kind of don't understand it. and then i hang out with really fresh-faced people with beautiful skin and i want to die. to be sure, there are good days for me. but, they are starting to feel few and far between. when my face decides to rebel, it REBELS. so my question is this: do you have any products that you swear by? i'm willing to spend $20. please don't suggest proactiv because that made my skin LITERALLY peel off. and i am currently using aveeno stuff. if you have natural products that you use and like i would love to know those. i am really happy with all of the other natural products i use and kind of don't want to go back to synthetic business. i'm also kind of hoping this is just due to the seasons changing. but, really, i can't deal anymore. so, i welcome your suggestions for combatting pizza-face.

little 5 nyc-stuyl (ha! get it?!)

2008-05-27T15:50:05Z

this weekend was fucking epic. EPIC i tell you. wait, i WILL tell you:

friday, my office closed early so i got to enjoy some sun. i went out with the gurrlz to trophy and had a pretty amazing time. i rode anna's bike a bit, i cut my ankle, i peed in an alley. we went to union pool for the first time and i got a better grip on why everyone likes it so much. we photo-boothed. sammy came with and got sammy-ed, if you will.

saturday i sat around recovering from friday. james came into town and we met up at the islands show. i was incredibly disappointed with their performance, as were james and anna. but they played a unicorns song, which was all i really wanted anyway. the dude had painted his face white and was wearing a leather vest. and that's all i'll say about that. the crowd was kind of lame, too. and it wasn't loud enough. and it was too jammy. whoa, i guess i had to say a bit more... then james and i went to meet up with sam at great lakes where we were all too crapped out to push it farther than midnight.

sunday, SUNDAY, was the epic mother fucking day. it was unbelievably gorgeous and perfect out, and i refused to sit inside as i had all day saturday. because there weren't enough bikes, we decided to walk from atlantic center to williamsburg, which is about a 2 mile walk. after about 20 minutes of walking to biergarten, sam declared that we needed to refuel, or pre-fuel, as it were, so we stopped at this tiny new bar and got a drink. thus beginning the 14 HOURS of drinking. we met up with gabe and pete and anna at biergarten, which is just so wonderful. there are communal tables so i discovered that the guy next to us was celebrating his birthday. he told the waitress, "do me a favor- when you see these glasses getting empty, bring us another!" and handed her a wad of cash. sam and i tried to buy him some food, but all he wanted was more beer. anyway, after a few hours there, we headed to charleston for some free pizza. james hated it there. so then we went to barcade, where he was much happier. we drunkenly dominated some galaga and tetris and, you know, some more beers. alexis and mike showed up, and it was extremely pleasant to see them as well. i poorly tagged the bathroom. then we headed to union pool again. photo boothed again. danced and drank and smoked until closing time. it was just a really perfect day. but i woke up with an equally epic hangover on monday. blarg. and this is where i discovered the day's similarities to little 5s past.

yesterday i rode my bike to coney island. i felt really great about that. i keep psyching myself out about riding and then when i actually do it, it's really great and i get much less scared and much more pumped to do it more often. anyway, i guess it was the opening weekend or something but it was really crowded at the beach and i felt guilty for having my bike on the boardwalk. so i left after a bit. then i headed over to the magic tricks/prizzy prizzy please show in manhattan. and i was BLOWN AWAY with their progress. magic tricks is really, really coming along. they've reworked a lot of their songs and everything is just much better. andy is really getting comfortable and that also shows. there were a lot of bloomington folks that came out because of the combo there and it was great to see everyone and re-connect and get lost numbers.

a lot of this weekend was also spent trying to help friends through bad patches in their relationships. there are 4 couples in my life that are having problems right now. what is going on?! so many! it's really hard to be removed from the problematic situation and know how to approach it. a friend from home and her boyfriend actually just broke up. he said some really nasty things to her that i don't think he should have said, but i can't tell if she is in the angry part of the break-up where she wants me to back her up by hating him, too, or the part where she wants to be sad about it and have me say those kinds of things, you know? i don't know, it's just hard to know what to do in these situations.

lastly, the in-charge work week went well. i had to work with the boss that doesn't think i know anything, though. she talks to me like i'm about 10 years old and have never used a computer. but, in a meeting just now, she did the same thing to my other boss, so i think that's just how she talks to everyone. but, work went fine, i think i proved myself pretty well. not only in effort, but also in overtime, of which i put in quite a bit. there's talk of the project ending in august, so i'll probably spend all of july thinking about how to ask for a permanent position here. it's really strange to me that i used to hate this job but now that i'm actually paying attention and putting in effort, i really love it. maybe it's just that i love the fact that there is a chair for me to sit in at the moment. i don't know, i'll think about that later. i'm hoping, though, that last week's demonstration of character and prowess and go-get-it-ness will carry into july.

ok, that's really all. you made it to the end! congratulations!

i was so nervous, i got puke-y drunk

2008-05-23T14:08:37Z

here's what i WOULD have said, had i not lurked in the shadows, allowing my cowardice to overtake me completely. and, you know, if i hadn't been slurring my words:

"HEY! my GOD, you are SO beautiful. your hair is so long! seriously, you've turned into a breathtaking woman. your voice is so lovely and you seem so much more comfortable on stage now. really great show! nice to see you! preston says hello. have a great rest of your time in brooklyn."

but i didn't say any of that. i decided to let sleeping dogs lie. it kind of breaks my heart to know that there is a person that literally hates my guts and probably will for all time roaming the earth. and that, upon a chance interaction between us, i lack the courage to approach her and at least say hello. mainly, i'm pretty sure she doesn't want to hear it. this is a fact i have ruminated upon for a little over a year now. there's just no stopping that hate. i've come to terms with it and reached a conclusion of sorts, i guess, and i just kind of have to wait until she does the same. but i'm pretty sure it's not really a pressing issue on her agenda, which is fine. at any rate, it was weird to see a one-time close friend and not even look her in the face.

it was fabulous to see all of the bloomington people in one spot. i don't know, it was just a little slice of home right in williamsburg, and i will always welcome that.

yeah, yeah, 2 posts, but i'm BORED

2008-05-21T19:16:44Z

the subject is weddings.

2008-05-21T15:56:46Z

it has come to my attention that i have attended 5 weddings, and am on my way to the 6th. i was a bridesmaid in 3 of these 5 weddings, and maid-of-honor in 2 of those. i am fast approaching my 23rd birthday. something is seriously, SERIOUSLY wrong with this situation. i'm actually not doing that whole always-a-bridesemaid-never-a-bride thing. what i'm doing is, what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-you-getting-married-so-young thing. now, disclaimer, 2 of those 5 weddings, the couples had been together YEARS prior. the 6th wedding (john and lyndsey's) also does not count because they are totally in love and have been forever and everyone knows it. so, i guess 2 of the 5 were what-the-fuck weddings in terms of age. but, really, i guess it's just my age. i'm too young to have so many married friends! i can feel another on the horizon as well. actually, another 2. another 2 weddings where i'll be asked to attend and, fuck, even asked to possibly be a bridesmaid AGAIN. what makes me such good bridesmaid material anyway? i'm no good. why do girls ask single girls to be their bridesmaids? that's silly. we obviously know SO MUCH about weddings that we should be given a major role in yours. actually, at this point, i'm getting to be a professional bridesmaid. the worst part is, this is just the goddamned beginning! i have so many friends that are going to be married at some point!

mostly, i just can't believe that i'm at this point in my life. having a brother who is ten years older than me awards me of seeing my life play out before i actually get there. that is to say, i watched him while he went through the worst break-up ever in college (and called him for advice when it happened to me). i saw the scar he got on his forehead from hitting the toilet while puking on his 21st birthday (and went out with him for my 21st birthday so it wouldn't happen to me). i heard about the myriad weddings he was forced to attend and saw all the pictures (we have mutually bitched about it). i just can't believe i'm here now. i watched him go through all that stuff and thought, man, thank god i have 10 years before i have to deal with that. and here i am! it's here! it's now! my god, i am just not mature enough to have friends getting married.

daria called me about marital problems the other day. this was the first time i have had to be a maid-of-honor outside of the actual wedding. and it just made me feel so old. that was the first time i've ever had to deal with that kind of situation. again, what do i know?! single! single for a year! not that long, but, you know, a little rusty on relationship etiquette. maybe i'm not the one you should be calling with wife-woes... i guess best friend status trumps marital status when it comes to that kind of thing.

i don't know, mostly i just don't want to face the fact that i'm growing up. this is a stage that everyone goes through in life. the stage where everyone gets married. i just don't want to do it. it has nothing to do with being bitter that i don't have a marriage pending or even a relationship pending or that i have to buy everyone gifts or that i have to travel to be there, which are common bitchings i hear from people about weddings. because really i think weddings are fantastic and lovely and beautiful and i want nothing more than to join in the celebration of your love. i'm just a little sad that i've entered this stage in my life. gone are the days of passing notes to boys in the hall. of courting dudes in the mall. of eating raven's revenge like it was MY JOB. of climbing trees and watching saturday morning cartoons and eating froot loops. i'm not a kid anymore, i guess, and that's just kind of upsetting.

i'll be turning 23 in 2 weeks. getting kicked-off of your parents' insurance is nothing to celebrate, i'll tell you what. but i'm going to. by riding roller coasters like a child and then drinking like an adult. a party that acts as a pretty good metaphor for where i am in my life- treading the line between kid and adult. i can't believe i'm going to be fucking 23.

rainy day record mix

2008-05-20T19:09:43Z

today will be better

2008-04-03T13:52:10Z

first day back to school!

2008-03-31T12:06:31Z

back to mgh at msg. oo, can i keep doing that all day? anyway, nervous, excited. although i don't know why because there's a definite end-point to this job. eh, whatever. bills will be paid until july. word up.

things are just going swimmingly. i feel really good about a lot of things, and, for once, not bad about anything. ha! must be spring in the air, making me feel alright with sunshine and bird chirps.

the moral of the story

2008-03-29T15:11:46Z

well, i went to california expecting a completely different outcome but what happened is that i realized that i love new york more than i thought. i missed it. the weather was beautiful and i saw many people that i love, but it's just not where i want to be right now. i want to be right here. i guess i was just surprised that that's how things worked out because i was expecting something totally different. it was a lovely vacation, however, but i'm very glad to be home.

things for which i'm grateful:
24-hr-subway
not having a car, but still being able to get anywhere
union hall
my roommates
girlfriends
my fucking luscious bed
bageltique

can i just say?

2008-03-20T06:02:29Z

mint chocolate chip ice cream+ben huffman+drunkfish+sunshine+knitting+JOB AGAIN

yes. you heard me. i'm feeling good about a lot of things. i'm feeling not-so-good about some others. but, you know, at the ripe old age of 22, i can't let shit bog me down too much of the time. because there are crazy blind dates to go on, there are baby sweaters to knit, there is ice cream to eat, there are bike rides to conquer. and i can't just sit around being depressed. so i won't. BOOYAH.

california countdown

2008-03-16T16:08:51Z

is this really what i do now?

this weekend was spent watching tv on the internet. shows i've already seen a million times. i watched a lot of sex and the city. that show is such bullshit. i mean, they are ALWAYS meeting dudes and then talking about it. i can't even meet a girl to talk about how i don't meet dudes. plus, they are always going to really cool parties. i mean, i guess if i applied myself, i could go to really cool parties. actually, i was thinking about how, although i really love my house, it is a major set-back. first, no one has really heard of ditmas park. which is terrible. second, no one EVER wants to come over. even though we have oodles of space and a porch. even our friends that live a smidge northwest of us don't want to come over. in general, when making plans with another party, i always have to do the most traveling. and FORGET about going to park slope. ugh. because, you know, then the other party has to do a lot of traveling and that is totally out of the question. i probably should live in williamsburg. then it wouldn't be such a production when there's nothing planned; when my williamsburg friends just want to go to bars at 11. (on the weekends, no lie, it's about 1.5 hours to GET to williamsburg as well as to get home.) so anyway, blah blah blah, my life is hard.

i also watched some first season LOST. holy shit, john locke is such a freak! i mean, seriously. they have been painting him as a psycho since day 1. i guess i just willed myself to overlook that. because, for a while, i really liked locke. i mean, he was the one pushing for new exploration and junk. if it weren't for locke, there'd be no desmond. just think about THAT. and, is it just me, or has saiid gained weight? actually, it's totally hilarious to watch the first season and see how much prettier everyone is now. sun has like this bomb haircut and she's all pregnant-glowy. hurley is the only consistent character. i mean, his hair got longer and he stayed the same weight. i can believe that. clare has this awesome haircut, too. and, OMG, remember when in the first season they seriously only had like 2 outfits? when did they get all this new island-ware, anyway? kate's wardrobe has really expanded. as has JULIETTE'S RACK. oh man! have you noticed how her breasts are like constantly spilling out now? what's with that? ugh. anyway, my main gripe is that everyone has got a bit more meat on their bones now, and i just don't think that inhabitants of a desert island could really have gained any kind of weight. but what do i know? i guess they found all that junk in the hatch. whatever.

and lastly, full house. ahhhh, yes. i watched the motown philly episode this morning. shit is so great. i don't care what you say, i love that show. i really, really do. it's so formulaic. like power rangers! well, wait, like any show on television. i think next i'm going to revisit some CSI episodes. daria tells me she's hooked now and that some seriously crazy shit is going down.

so anyway, i'm ready to go tomorrow. it's a super shitty day today which is going to make it easy to leave tomorrow. i thought that perhaps i was going to be leaving at the beginnings of spring, which would have been no fun. but, really? who cares? i'm going to CALIFORNIA. where it is always spring.

look, i'm going to make a drunk post.

2008-03-15T07:11:13Z

why can't my bed be in the kitchen? i mean, why do i have to pick myself ALL THE WAY UP and go to my room? it's absurd.

why doesn't every dude i ever meet understand that i am the fucking bomb. that it is a mother fucking PRIVILEGE to hang out with me. i also do not understand this..

right now it is time to go to bed. i miss you. i just looked through each and every one of my facebook pictures and i miss you. please love me until the day you die, ok? because i love you. i do.

i can't wait for california, really. seriously.

a new life

2008-03-12T22:43:47Z

a new life
Originally uploaded by heartinacircle

so i made this today.

+california in less than a week
+good convo with the temp agency
+really trying to quit smoking
+donuts

it's been too long since you were between my legs, lover

2008-03-11T17:50:50Z

birthday
Originally uploaded by heartinacircle

thank you, sweet lord jesus, for the sun and for warm(er) weather. now please, lord, send me some friends that enjoy riding bikes around flatbush as well.

peter, brace yourself, i'm thinking about giving my bike a facelift. i'm thinking of taking off the yellow stripes and putting purple and/or teal handlebar tape on. my yellow tape is just foul with dirt. and it's a new year, a new season, a new city. perhaps purple tape is a good idea. also i need to get and install a handbrake on that shit. my pedal brake is just no good. and, unfortunately, i think storing my bike near a radiator all winter didn't do anything good to the new tubes- they lose air so quickly.

i truly forgot how awesome riding my bike feels. it's just the right amount of adrenaline. i'm so so SO happy that the weather is about to turn. i actually can't believe it's already that time of year. it both feels like an eternity and the blink of an eye. has it really been 8 months? i can't believe it.

snot in my hanky

2008-03-10T00:28:44Z

this is no good. the NYC race has been canceled now, which is probably good.

i can't get over this illness. i think i should probably go to the doctor. but, as an unemployed youngster, i am sincerely concerned about the cost of a medical visit. not to mention the drug costs that will inevitably ensue. it is bullshit. but, seriously, it's been 6 days. that can't be right.

it's really nice to have girls visiting me. we've talked about girl stuff and that's nice. sometimes living with boys can put you in comic book/superhero/classic rock overload. sometimes a girl needs to talk about shopping/sex/boys/periods and watch flashdance. and so i'm glad daria and ciara are here.

pass the sudafed, please.

feel sorry for me

2008-03-06T20:39:17Z

i am very sick. the sickest i have been in a long time, actually. like getting winded when walking around my apartment. i also only want to eat donuts and chocolate pie. mmmm, chocolate pie. i don't actually have any chocolate pie, damnit. ohhh, i've gotten off topic.

jonathan richman is just so wonderful. he doesn't have a guitar strap because he uses that thing as a prop- spinning it and stuff. he added some crazy high-kicks to his dancing, which made me super happy. anyway, i had a good GOOD time.